Mama – AKA – Mrs. Punching Bag
Unfortunately there is a devolved state of self-esteem that will make a person feel as if they are responsible for being abused. They will feel as if they provoked the abusive response, and even apologize for it. They want to be in that relationship, regardless of what they must endure.
The honeymoon phase — First, the abuser is ashamed of his behavior. He expresses remorse, tries to minimize the abuse and might even blame it on the partner. He may then exhibit loving, kind behavior followed by apologies, generosity and helpfulness. He will genuinely attempt to convince the partner that the abuse will not happen again. This loving and contrite behavior strengthens the bond between the partners and will probably convince the victim, once again, that leaving the relationship is not necessary.
She doesn’t leave because she values her family. She wants to give up the violence and abuse, not the man and the marriage. Her socialization tells her to stand by her man, that marriage is not a bed of roses, that she should stick it out for better or for worse, and that she has to take the bitter with the sweet. She buys in to her being part of the problem. It is her job to make it work. She works hard at adapting and adjusting; if she does not make it work, she is a failure. She may wonder how she will make it without him. Women on their own with children have tough economic problems. He may have threatened to kill her if she leaves, or take the children, or do some other terrible thing. If she is with him, at least she knows where he is and what she has got. After a killing spree by a man in Arkansas, women left shelters and went back to husbands. If she leaves, she will have the unknown. As long as she holds out hope, she will be in there pitching to adjust, adapt, and make it better. (Source – CBS News)
Verbal abuse may include aggressive actions such as name-calling, blaming, ridicule, disrespect, and criticism, but there are also less obviously aggressive forms of verbal abuse. Statements that may seem benign on the surface can be thinly veiled attempts to humiliate; falsely accuse; or manipulate others to submit to undesirable behavior, make others feel unwanted and unloved, threaten others economically, or isolate victims from support systems.
In Minnesota – 2011 twelve women died by gunshot. Dawn Anderson, Tabitha Belmonte, Cintia Bustos, Kandace Dunn, Abigail Fedeli, Kimberly Grew, Laura Hulke, Stephanie Maxam, &Nicole Meier, Linda Norman, Katherine Pohjonen, & Rondy Sorgatz. (Source – Minnesota Coalition For Battered Women)
Rapist Typology: In 1979, Dr. Nicholas Groth and H. Jean Birnbaum developed a profile of several types of assault, and identified subtypes of men who rape women: Anger Rapist. Persons is this category are believed to commit rape in part as a means of expressing anger and hostility that has built up over time.
Learning to Lie
In her book Trauma and Recovery, psychiatrist Judith Herman wrote that children who are abused sometimes develop destructive attachments to their abusers that prevent them from reporting the abuse. In fact, when questioned about possible abuse, victims may lie to protect their abusers. In school settings, this phenomenon makes it difficult for educational authorities to investigate their suspicions of child abuse.
February 27, 2012 – Employees of a Vineland preschool called the Division of Youth and Family Services after a 4-year-old child showed up for the day with bruises and welts on her body and face, which detectives determined was the result of a severe belt lashing. The child’s mother was arrested and charged with fourth-degree child abuse/neglect. (Source – Stephen Smith/ The News of Cumberland County )
March 15, 2010 – The Waukesha County Medical Examiner’s Office, WI, which handles autopsies for Racine County, determined the child died of blunt force trauma injuries. According to a criminal complaint filed Monday afternoon, the child was killed over spilled milk. (Source – Kevin Hayes, CBS News CRIMESIDER, March 16, 2010 2:07 PM)
Boo Boo Kitty Took the Last Blow
Acts of animal abuse may in some circumstances may be used to coerce, control and intimidate women and children to remain in, or be silent about, their abusive situation.
Please, Please, Please Make Me Invisible
Children in a threatening environment use different ways to cope. They may yry to stay safe by becoming “invisible” and go into their own fantasy world and tune out the world around them.
You Should Know Better
A Child Called It, a book by Dave Pelzer wrote about his childhood experience as a victim of Target Child Abuse. Another instance in Houston, Texas there was a recent case of a 13-year-old boy, who was so badly neglected that he currently weighs only 72 pounds. While the other 4 siblings were neglected, the teenage boy was singled out for physical abuse and severe neglect that almost led to his death. In other cases parents will often make up for their abusive behavior against the target child and over-indulging a favorite child in an in order to compensate for being so abusive.
Nobody Could Put Him Together Again
In Minnesota – 2011 three children died as a result from shaking. Aiden Joseph Hoyer, Mario Maurizio Ruiz Meja, & Alexis VanHoutan. (Source – Minnesosta Coalition of Battered Women.)
You Didn’t See Me – Now You Do
What can you do if you believe a child Is being abused or neglected? Report your suspicions by contacting your local child welfare agency. You do not need to have “evidence” or actual knowledge of abuse when you make a report; all you need is reasonable cause, suspicion or belief based on your observations.
Allen Didn’t Like the Teenage Babysitter's Game
Many Sex Offenders are Kids Themselves: They are predominately male in more than 90 percent of the cases and 23% of all sexual offenders are under the age of 18. Juvenile sex offenders often commit their first sexual offense before age 15 and even before age 12. Juvenile sex offenders are found in every socioeconomic class and every racial, ethnic, religious, and cultural group.
Uncle Jack Stopped By. Uncle Jack Stopped By Again. Uncle Jack Stopped By Yet Again.
Grooming: Most victims and parents are "groomed" over a period of weeks, months, or years. A child molester will often use a range of games, tricks, activities and language to gain trust and/or deceive a child. Additionally, a trusting relationship with the family means the child's parents are less likely to believe potential accusations. They’ll befriending parents, to gain access to their children.
House On Fire
On April 30, 2012, Kathleen Ponsness and her husband Kenneth Ponsness were found dead in the aftermath of a house fire. Investigators have found that Kathleen Ponsness was strangled prior to the house fire. The case has been ruled a murder-suicide. The couple is survived by their two adult children. February 26, 2011 Cynthia Hickman was beaten and killed. Her estranged husband, Henry Hickman, is charged with second-degree murder and attempted second- degree murder for setting fire and leaving their minor sons in the house. January 25, 2009 Adam Williams lured Brittany Givens-Copeland to his Burnsville apartment and then ambushed her at the door. He strangled her with neckties. Afterward he committed suicide by setting fire to his apartment. (Source – Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women)